May 2013
31 posts
So I sat neatly in my dry bathtub wordless feeling in my mind and drops falling down my cheeks and I think, this could make a good photo.
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Last night I found out someone finished the potato chips and I REALLY WANTED the potato chips and I’m so sad and had to watch masterchef which made everything worse. I WANT THE CHIPS
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MAY
my coming week is filled with plans to meet my best friends. It’s interesting that its not a big group, but individuals from different times and places that we grew to love. (one another) It’s been a while since I’ve had plans in advance and now especially with those I love and miss so much I’m just so excited!
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If I could have anything for my 21st birthday, it would be a pool. I’m not spoilt or usually that extravagant, most of the time when my parents ask me what I want I can never think of anything, I mean my 17th birthday dinner was at a hawker center by choice. (yummmmm Maxwell porridge) I do want a handheld vaccum cleaner but they’ll laugh at me so no.
A pool of cool water is where I...
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long awaited call from Thailand
‘When people say don’t care about what people think, that is the biggest lie in the world. ‘
‘okay you care, but-‘
dial tone, card money ran out.
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“Carpe diem, how annoying is carpe diem? How are you supposed to plan a life, a...”
– Meredith Grey (via pantaareii)
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GREY'S FREAKING ANATOMY
I dous me in fiction and it reeks of petrol, overpowering my breathing with sparks everywhere. Where is the one that pulls me out of these stories more interesting than mine!!!!!!!!!! STUPID ARMY STOLE MY BOYFRIEND
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thump
The physical darkness the skies become yanks- cruelly, my own shadows. Through the gates of metal that means to protect, it instead stains
stains the rapidly growing rust stains of bad decisions the unmade the wish to be unknown if ever, if we could. If we were to dream something realistic, what is to dream at all?
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Worry
I am blemished.
He knows, and like a snake he slithers in my bed. like a serpent A known evil, he goes where I am comfortable and brushes his forked tongue against my cheek. I turn and my heart, where my emotions are created he makes a home and I. sink too slow to feel the depth
too deep for my lacking height But I reach anyway.
Its diffifcult.
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I can’t stop dreaming. One day soon, it’s going to kill me.
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What I will never understand, is why many child stars from Disney (or whichever franchise catered to kids) eventually turn to exposing themselves just to prove that they’ve grown up. We know you have, its what happens to all of us. The increased height, the developing body parts, the increase in your vocabulary, its pretty obvious.
No need to show us your bigger boobies (hi Joanie its your...
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Pull
Past dreams prod close, in a proud strut on the fence between then and the now, a cruel play, a sneer. They say be a child, and a child I am I’m the beginning, in ignorance though feigned but still true.
Bliss links hope to stride, curiosity calls an excited step forward. But- reason is pulling, with kisses of longing Caution dressed in care leads in a waltz to the known. Familiar, but...
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I dream a beautiful place. There is music that changes as I change, communicating my thoughts in instrumentals. It is never silent as I am never not in the world that is my mind.
I dream a gentle garden, where the quiet helps to grow. I walk through the wisps of my desires that I go to rest to ease to bloom gently, the delicately beautiful secrets of the weaving story I am living.
I dream a...
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It has been a full week. Feelings were everywhere.
I feel like I’m obligated to take it down in a well-written, nicely structured piece of text that justifies the moral failures of my thoughts. I draft paragraphs in my mind to ease my conscience that is in constant battle with my gut for justice. I accept that I have grown enough to realise the bigger decisions aren’t black and white but...
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Lost
I am
April 2013
45 posts
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I can’t comprehend why I worried about what I worried before over the things I have control of, like job troubles. Getting kola back, majority of that one is out of my hands. I run through my head that maybe I’m supposed to learn something from this, and maybe when I realise it he’ll appear like the best present ever.
What I’ve seen are friends coming together offering...
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helpless hope in strangers
ever since my dog ran out the gate and the house void of his sounds, I walk around with a black cloud over my head. I haven’t been completely happy and he is obsessively in my mind. So much so that the first night he was absent all my dreams were about and with him being lost and found again, I kept waking up and first thing was hoping he’s home. He still isn’t. The flyers are...
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'Kola! Kola? Kola! Kola.'
My mom always told people she ‘hated the dumb dog’ and playfully complained about him every day. Now that he’s missing, she’s calling his name sadly through our living room asking him to come back and why has he gone. Like a child. Every time I hear her loud voice ring through the silent floor a thud from my chest falls to my stomach, my mind sees his face and my eyes fill and overflow.
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The familiar song in your voice rang clear through the mist of my day, I had breezed through in hushed rebellion to the things I had to do. I longed for more than just your audio touch, I dreamt back to the dreamy days of us together in abandon of time; I dreamed of when your declarations were not through the wire. I reminisced the tips of your fingers dancing upon my cheek, and mine tracing the...
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HELLO NO ONE (besides my person Joan who reads this faithfully my beautiful one) I’ve decided to change my just arty blog annalisalikesolives to just an illustration one (for reasons Ankita advised me on that wonderful genius I love you so much) and my photos shall go back to pickles, since they are rather personal so in to the personal blog you go. Heading for quality here in the hope people like...
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nights
Thursday, 25th April 2013 Bedroom 1:34AM mac time
It is at night that I become painfully honest and surprisingly deep. The day’s worries and anxieties quiet down, clearing a lot of the emotional clutter hindering my inhibited thoughts. I feel the lack of control I have over many things.
I think of the people I miss, and whom I could talk to about these deeper notions. I miss them and sometimes...
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Hack
The sour taste down my gullet
reflects the confusion thats mine, my
learning bod within are knots from
your works so unkind
To me, when then, I hadn’t fully realized
the shards you placed slyly in me
of spite to fuel your gain for what you lamely wished you’d be
You took
I was easy, I had no fire then
but that’s gone now- dead you disgusting called-friend
I’ve built my...
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You don’t really think about your twenties till you’re there.
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WatchAfter an afternoon of fun swimming at my childhood pool place turned future dream apartment.
My beautiful boy is off to Thailand training, pray for his safe return on May 13th! I love you.
