Every hair in its place, each strand glistening in the sunlight. Smooth milky skin, on a crisp white pillow. Lying gracefully, model-like wearing crease free egyptian cotton, delicately covered with a fresh thick blanket covering the rosewood bedframe. Just add a camera, it’d make the magazine cover.
I dont want any of that.
I want you to have a bedhead, to be able to catch you snoring so we can laugh about it after. To be curled up in a ball, like a child afraid of a storm. Or stretched in a star, long arms and legs hanging over the bed. To have wrinkled bedsheets proving we exist, childish prints on oversized, overwashed t shirts. I want to wake up to a real face, maybe with a bit of drool to provide fantastic photographic opportunities. For you to be a heavy sleeper so i can paste stickers on your face, and laugh lovingly when you wake.
Never thought Id be in love with a BB boy, the ones who march around on National Day with stony faces shouting strange noises.
But I have, one that blows saliva bubbles while standing at attention, laughing at your friends disgusted shouts as they pop. Youre just as weird as me biting people during Indian dance, prancing around the dance studio. No wonder we’re together, Im actually laughing.
Founder’s man award. Don’t know what it means, but Im proud of you. Though I dont think I’ll ever see you as a man, you kid. >:)
As my lids rise to reveal the bright morning sun my fingers brush your skin, delicately Looking up to see your soft eyes turned towards mine dressed with love, a mutual good morning. Ill go down to make pancakes, you pull open the curtains gentle cheery music echoing through home. We eat and laugh together, faces crinkled in multiple smiles asking about my yesterday, I laugh because you were there. we look, we listen, we hold hands and know, its you I want to grow old with.
Of all things. Of all things existing in this giant giant world, you pick the World Chinese Entrepreneurs Convention. Design a logo for them so they get a wide array of designs to pick from while they pay two thousand beejeezums for a million dollar job. Typical. I dont know how many times Ive wanted to smash my head against the wall/keyboard repetitively this week, kinetic typo and corpID does not blend well in any way.
Yeah Im just venting here, excuse my spiteful whining.
This sounds selfish and Im sorry, but its a time now that I wish I didnt lend anyone my adobe disk. Apparently its been used for more than one computer, so I cant use it anymore and I dont know how to fix it. Sucks really, wasted so much time reinstalling and Im so tired. Bought the legal disk so this wouldnt happen, but well.
On a lighter note I really love my classmates, you guys are as awesome as the light chocolate on chocolate three musketeer bar, 45% less fat. And the ovaries were awesome, admit it. Hahahahaha its a picnic every day.
Started off with scraping the top layer of a new pint of ice cream, initially straight from the tub but I took a bowl cover to use as a plate instead. Feeling a little quirky today. A grand whole ikea sausage from the toaster came next with chili sauce, cut and placed in the same plate, aha aha aha. The spiciness had the tang, so I washed it down with more ice cream.
Quite satisfactory, brought me back to the times where I had leftover birthday cake for breakfast every morning and calorie counting was seen as absurd.
Fear was unwelcomed, but it gripped vice-like on the insides the imaginary silence unevenly broken with a choked, shattering scream. Yearning for your comfort, that now seems distant too many things are taking its toll.
Bad vibes around the house. Third night, second day. A whole mirage of emotions.
Lena-Lazing around the entire day Ari-Being a martyr Aunty-Her cheery self as always (how does she do it) Cola-Possibly the only thing keeping me sane Keane-stupid
I feel both frustrated and guilty at Ari’s unstable emotional plate, looking like a lost puppy in the rain about to burst into tears at any moment. Yes we all miss them, but youre already ten! Sweetie its time to grow up a little, be more independent. We love you, but it can get infuriating when you expect us to surrender at your little whims and fusses. Finish your food, children are dying in Africa.
Lena is a bum. Keane is just stupid.
Yeesh, Im started to sound like a mom and the immature sister all at once.
Life has a funny way of making things completely unexpected, no matter how much you expect them.
I didnt expect to miss my parents so quickly, there is definitely something empty in the house without their nagging, annoying, stable presence. Still, girl on girl bonding is definitely happening, pretty awesome.
I learnt how sometimes you do have to experience things for yourself to know what people mean. As much as I love them, words come short sometimes. Anyway, thanks for the surprise dear. (:
I havent had that much fun in a long time! Pictionary, Lena, Ari, Deon and I. Yours truly won by a mile, just saying. I laughed so hard, the ache took my breathing but it felt so good. I love all three of you so much.
So the parents have gone to a form of paradise, Athens, away from the hustle and bustle of Singapore and torment of their wonderful children. I have been left fully in charge, in other words, the boss. (sounds and feels good)
Report for today: Keane is missing Ari and Lena are total bums.
Not happy with the brother, his addiction to the computer is insane. To solve that, the little sister and I have hidden all the computer mouses. Shes such a little genius. Anyway he went out without telling anyone, and the rest of them spent the day watching strange movies. Homework is a drag, and missing the boyfriend.
Dad: ‘I have bad news.’ Me: ‘The Haagan Daz ice creams gone.’ 'Yeah.' 'Oh well nevermind, it was killing my diet anyway!' 'So its good news?' 'Kinda, yep!' 'Then I have very very bad news.' 'You bought more.' 'Two tubs.' 'Belgian Chocolate?' 'Uh huh. The best flavour everrrrrrrr. heeheehee'
Amongst the stress of the dreaded submission week, we stole blessed hours. Hungrily feeding on smiles and love, it felt so good to see you with that familiar, serene smile again. Of course, even better knowing I made you happier as you did with me.
Sure, yesterday wasnt the best day. But Im glad it happened, because again we came out stronger, falling deeper.
It came, the twang of old insecurities but I pushed it away, deciding to get priorities straight with one of my favourite songs. Stumbled across the video.
Rejoicing at the end of PMS week was interrupted with touched, emotional tears. Seeing the different things people go through, feelings, undeserving situations, heartache. Yet despite the hardship, they hold undying hope and beauty. Lack of talent seemed minute, when I remembered Ive got the ability to feel. To be human.
'Im not afraid because I know, this is my temporary home.'
It was a perfect scene. After tight hugs and happy goodbyes, supper with the mum, brother, boyfriend and friend late and quiet in the basement of the worlds best airport. (propaganda much) The ultra important diet got lost among tasty texas fare, and two chinese dishes. Blending surprisingly well, bright chatter lit the little space we had to ourselves. You saw me eating properly for the first time in a long while, and smiled. A true, genuine smile that could only could come from someone who loves you as you are.
'Can you just eat! You already found a man who loves you so it doesnt matter.' 'See! thats what I said!'
Six months food pregnant, we walked awkward huggingly back to the car. Michael Jackson through the speakers and vocal chords, everything was in harmony. My face to your chest and your arms around me, comfort, safety, and closeness was abundant. Skype was waiting when we parted, though I unintentionally fell asleep for two hours, and then some.
I love it when we run in a public place, faces flushed and blazing in the thrill of escape.
Buttock face has left!!! I dont think Ive ever noticed how much she actually affects me, mustve been like a million times I was gonna do something to/for her then wait, shes not here I forgot. The house is a lot quieter and more sane too.
Anyway, there cannot be a Lena post without one of her sleeping on the floor, nutcase.
I MISS YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! Not to mention terribly jealous youre going to a chocolate factory, I mean seriously.