Im so SICK of this. You think all I care about are material things? That rubbing it in that I dont deserve whatever gadget is all I think about? Do you even know me? Ill answer that for you, you dont. Sometimes I wish we lived somewhere else where we grew up faster, where it was the culture to let us go. Because the feelings are the same, but the opportunities are not.
Ive been dreaming a whole lot of whacky stuff lately. Usually its completely out of the blue, but nowadays they actually have links to what Ive been thinking or worrying about, or whats happening. Its a sign! Im thinking too much. Hahahaha, I feel lost.
I remember everything in detail, even the taste of something disgusting I ate which isnt good. One thing thats been reoccurring for many nights though, is seeing them again. Virtually isnt the same, better still its better than nothing.
I want to watch Princess and the Frog again and hope someday something as exciting will happen one day. But I am never. NEVER. Kissing a frog. EVER. I want all the sparkly and magic though, itll be a nice change for a bit. And eighteen small cramped candles for my birthday.
Oh man, the weekend has been nothing short of amazing.
The hectic kicked off Friday, badly somewhat. Wrong bus, wrong direction, late, missing everything and no coupons for candy floss. But the company turned it around, whats new right. ((: Cotton Candy ice cream isnt as bad as it looks, and I stumbled onto another insane sale that is definitely rubbing in worthy so that was just fantastic. Dinner with bum, Ive really missed you!
'Where do we eat?' 'You decide!' 'You decide!' 'I waited five hours in school for you!' 'You wanted to!' '…..THATS NOT THE POINT.’
You annoyance I can never get enough of while shredding paper.<3 Making my way to the Carlton was funny, my mind kept wandering and I got lost while missing stops. But I made it there in the end, kicking off honestly a night I would never forget. Seriously, ever ever. YOU ALL KNOW WHY. Hahahahahaha
Happy Birthday Elysebeth dear, I love you more than he ever will.
Isnt it cool that its been about five plus years since Sec 1/4 and we still have the best fun when we meet? That we have been through so much nonsense but we still laugh and sing ‘uncool’ songs and feel completely utterly at home with each other? I have to say you three make me do the crazy things that no one else would probably convince me to do, bad but thats one more thing I get to tick of my ‘do before I die’ list. I love you four insanities, hang again again again again again!
Happy Birthday Party Ian Boy!
Its still so early, Ill wish you properly on the actual day. Im so glad I went, it was lovely spending the evening with you all and I got a roll of awesome tissue paper. When everyone comes of age and we go dancing together, Im bringing pills for when we laugh too much. <3
Perfect ending to the day, learning how to do partner dances to old school songs in the music room and honest talks on the balcony. Jon weve grown up havent we! We are going to get that routine and stun people someday. ((:
Im pretttttyyy excited for camp this weekend, hopefully everyone listens to the short black girl or Im running to the bathroom to cry in a corner. Hahahahaha Hi Joy, Im just kidding.
Off for another long week, Im a happy kid that had ice cream for breakfast!
I think Im doing too much , my days are overlapping my post its are in organised chaotic piles my stomach feels sick my calendar dates feels like its all over the place things that dont usually bother me are bothering me I take chocolate like therapy pills my muscles are aching I desperately need a pillow I need to read and do halftones my head is whirling
I am not tired I am not tired I am not tired I am not tired I am not tired
Hahahaha I happened to eat only one piece of toufu for lunch today, which lasted me till dinner. I know its unhealthy and definitely incredibly rare, but thanks to modern society and all the ‘thin is in’ mentalities, I was by default quite proud of myself.
But of course I got hungry and ate a complete big dinner. I dont care though, it was calories well worth it it was soooo comforting, we stayed till closing and they told us to leave hahahaha. Ive really missed you Elysebeth Ng.
So there are friends that see you as flawed, and hold it against you at some point. And there are friends that laugh at it with you, love you as a whole and make you happy being yourself.
I was hurt on Saturday, to be honest I was ready to go home and think about it, maybe write about it.
Buttttt there was dinner with the awesomes, how could I say no to that. ((: It was fantastic, carefree and completely in our own happy world singing duets and people staring. Ice cream watching (they are freezing it, not frying it) and tear filled laughing, its the best remedy for anything honestly, you guys are the bestestestestestesttttttt. <3<3
'Wanna go to the skatepark tomorrow?' 'But Ill be the only blader there, plus Im out of practice.' 'You won't be alone, I'll follow you wherever you go. I need to practice my technicals anyway.' 'Oh man, really?' 'My girlfriend what.'
Ian if you werent my cousin, i would totally marry you hahahaha ((:
There she was, too beautiful to be human, too lovely to be deserved. She glowed from within, her beauty more than skin-deep, one of the many things he loved so much. Warmth and love shone from her eyes, her long lashes gently fluttered open as he withdrew his lips from her flawless cheek. He was sailing in her deepest eyes, overwhelming as he kissed her, ‘I love you.’
Like a dancer she rose gracefully, her skirt twirling amongst her delicate feet dressed in thin satin straps. Her dress was simple yet elegant, the pure white soft against her smooth bronzed skin. The fitted bodice came to a point, and the skirt flared, parallel to her free spirit. On it a turquoise crinoline held its shape, stunningly bringing out the green tinge in her eyes. The contrast was so like her, exciting, her being brightest most extraordinary part of any day they spent together. He took her hand, and walked. The floor felt like clouds beneath his feet, and together they started their journey to forever.
The bells echoed through the building, haunting yet complimenting the charm of the cathedral. Beautiful artwork donned the walls, exquisite carved decorations were pleasing to the eye. Nothing however, nothing, compared to what entered the newly opened double doors. Sun in the background illuminating perfection as she took her first step, mesmerizing, she was. With humble confidence she glided, a natural smile holding more emotions than she could convey in words. Closer she got towards him, a smile permanent upon his face, eyes unbelieving as he looked upon her. She was wonderful, amazing, unearthly. She was his angel.
Like a melody she said her vows, and he said his. How they could tell neither knew, but it was a mutual belief that it would be kept till they traveled beyond this earth.
I saw him in a crisp black suit, strained expression as if there was something on his mind he was trying desperately to push away. Dark circles around his eyes, lines as if drawn on embedded on his still handsome face. A black suitcase was in his hand, veins and knuckles startlingly visible, revealing the amount of pressure being used. His posture was unnaturally straight, thick gel holding his stiff hair in place, though a few stray strands disrupted the regularity. His eyes looked without seeing, blank as the train approached, dull, lifeless eyes. The journey passed in a blur, unreal, what he saw in the passing windows was not what was actually there.
Two lifetimes passed, and the train stopped at his destination. Walking evenly, he got off the train, looking relieved to have escaped from the crowd. Making his way out of the station, his movements were dreamlike, as if his mind was far, far away.
He reached the white building, cold and harsh. Like the atmosphere, he changed. The unnatural confidence was gone, the little colour in his cheeks had faded. Like a child taking his first steps, he entered the cathedral. How he did years ago, but everything was different now.
Fear was evident in his eyes, but only in them it showed. Greeting friends and family left and right, he appeared strong. Nobody noticed the slight shaking in his arms, the quiver in his voice as he spoke, the desperate cry showing through the windows to his soul.
The service was beautiful. If only he noticed.
She was going to be turned into ashes. Gone, not coming back. Ever. For the first time in days, he let himself look at her.
She looked peaceful, serene. Still soft, still gentle. He waited. He waited for the flutter. He waited for her exotic eyes to reveal themselves, to sparkle for him as they have done so many times all these twelve years. He waited for her hands to caress his cheek, her voice to delight his ears, her laughter to heal every bad feeling. Against his conscience, against his mind, he waited, hoping against hope it was a scam, a mistake, a nightmare, she will wake up! Internally everything was exploding, anger! Hurt! Betrayal! Fear! Worry! Denial! In desperation, he tore his eyes away from the body he refused to recognise, and gazed at her photograph.
It felt like years had passed as he took in everything she was.
It spoke to him, without words as how he conversed with her so many times before. Reassured him, soothed him, gave him comfort. In silence, alone, he looked deeply into her face, searching for answers that came slowly, but surely.
At long last his face crumpled, strangled sobbing echoing through the holy dome.
'Boys are so irritating, this guy in my class keeps bullying me.' 'Punch him!' 'Um, no thanks.' 'Why! He bullies you!' 'My punches hurt. Ask Jie Jie Belle.' 'You punched your sister?!' 'Yeah, cause she slapped me!' 'Why!' 'Because I was being annoying. I was bored.'
Janelle dear, I still think you should punch the guy instead of your sister. Wont hurt him much anyway, youre only nine.
I have so many things to say but my writing skills have poofed, its like creative writing drained every expression out of me. I just think without paper, figuratively speaking. Die die die, I must express!!!
In other matters, Im craving lip smackers lip balm.
oh and submission week is overrrrr! I tell you now, gathering and returning equipment sucks. >:(
“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.”
I absolutely love it when even though we don’t talk or see each other as much, whenever I need them they are always always there no problem, evaporate everything Im worrying about and make me smile in a twinkling. I love you, kukuyous!
Yesternight, my cousins and I went for a drive. We blasted music through an iPod, rolled down the windows waving and yelling at everyone. 'HI!' 'HELLO!' 'YAAAAY HAHAHAHAHA HIHIHIHI' My mum was really cool, she drove around just so we could continue. You rock mom. It was one of those moments youll remember fondly and talk about in twenty years, still remembered clearly, and laugh.
I hate secrets. It causes confusion, and passes hurt around when it can be prevented. Everyone should have signs on their backs so everything’s clear. I know I’ll be looking at mine often enough. Im craving for stickers! And that ooey bubble balloon thingamajig.