I had a wonderful dinner today. Both parents cooked me a birthday meal, two mains, and dessert! The whole family sat down and ate such wonderful food with all the love that went into it. It made me so happy, I’ll write a proper one about it soon after I look through all the adorable videos that were taken. I love my wonderful perfect family. :)
I also miss two people that have huge pieces of my almost 21 year old heart, Joan and Deon. I haven’t seen the first in about five months and it feels like the limit of us not seeing each other, and for the latter its been just about a week, but the bits of time we get is of course never enough. Both of them said today and I responded the same to them both, that we missed each other. And I ache more than a little because I missed them that much more today. No trigger, I just did and I think they felt a bit of that too.
I miss you so much, but I still love you more than that.
IT IS ALSO time to bleed for the month which means I will be watching online wedding proposals and trying not to cry.
Such a fantastic super fun funny full of laughter and happiness day with the lovely nice girl Eu-nice. So fun happy sunny through the rain, repeated queuing and stories with dear lovely pretty Eunice. Eunice Eunice Eunice, I love thee!
Nights are lonely so I’m posting a couple of photos with my love, whom Im missing as much as always.
My mum was telling me how the internet is bashing a Miss USA contestant for giving a bad answer to one of the pageant questions, and how she felt the question wasn’t even that simple, poor girl. So she repeated the question to me and I gave an answer that made her go wide-eyed and shocked and ‘YOU ARE A GENIUS THAT IS PERFECT WOW YOU ARE SO INTELLIGENT WOW OH MY GOSH’ which made me so pleased and proud till I realised two seconds later I couldn’t remember anything I said. But it was a ‘proud daughter/person/lisa’ moment, I don’t get that a lot when it concerns my mental capabilities. It felt good, thanks mom.
Whats sad is at night I seem to want a lot of hugs, I get tired and clingy like a child and want to hug things that hug me back. Unfortunately the one who obliges as much as I want them is on the other side of the country. I should bug him about a quicker marriage more often than I do now (daily, but I’m half kidding) because that would mean I won’t sleep alone on a bed so I would be less afraid of the dark plus I would get hugged back. I know its amazing that he hasn’t begun running far far away (from me) by now, forever grateful!
My room confuses itself with a furnace.
Gwyneth Paltrow, I want to be as cool as you.
It is before I sleep that I miss you the most. An image that I’ve made familiar is of us lying in bed at the end of the day, talking if we like, or silently enjoying the presence.
Tonight I’d talk. Achingly, but freely. Of beautiful experiences with sour, personal effects. My thoughts and what I’d ponder on, and ponder with you as I share. Of the stupid little pricks of my more shallow side, and of how much importance I hold with; and from that, how it affects my judgment of myself.
My fear of the almost silence between God and myself, and jealousy to those blessed with an answered ear.
I long for something I am told that I shouldn’t-admiration. Painful to admit because it sounds shallow, even selfish. I beat myself up about it because I can’t figure what’s right. Whether it pushes me to be a better person, or pulls me down when I don’t recieve. Do I want to make people happy by what I do, or am I so insecure that I need a clear view of being wanted? Self-absorbed or inspirational? I’m getting these mad mixed up questions from a bloody tv show. Mad.
At night I am tired, vulnerable, and honest.
I miss this princess, she ran off to Europe and left me behind for some white boys. (joke she can never bear to really leave me)
The person behind my lovely weekend. I look like a pufferfish in the fourth photo because he hugs really tightly! I love it, I should show that and smile next time. (stupid)
Watching videos to inspire and discuss
lots of BOOKS we borrowed bought and read
my first Fast and Furious movie (6)
lots and lots of hugs and kisses and jumping around and holding hands
My better half. A beautifully matured love with the easy happiness of a child. I can’t wait to have one (as we say every day) with you. I love you. ;)
I dous me in fiction and it reeks of petrol, overpowering my breathing with sparks everywhere. Where is the one that pulls me out of these stories more interesting than mine!!!!!!!!!! STUPID ARMY STOLE MY BOYFRIEND
ever since my dog ran out the gate and the house void of his sounds, I walk around with a black cloud over my head. I haven’t been completely happy and he is obsessively in my mind. So much so that the first night he was absent all my dreams were about and with him being lost and found again, I kept waking up and first thing was hoping he’s home. He still isn’t.
The flyers are up, posts have been shared and it terrifies me that his fate lies in someone else’s hands. He has most likely been taken in, and I can only pray (again, obsessively) that they see the poster, or make an effort to return him back to us. I pray and desperately hope they haven’t taken him away from this house forever.
My mom always told people she ‘hated the dumb dog’ and playfully complained about him every day. Now that he’s missing, she’s calling his name sadly through our living room asking him to come back and why has he gone. Like a child. Every time I hear her loud voice ring through the silent floor a thud from my chest falls to my stomach, my mind sees his face and my eyes fill and overflow.
I lost my dog, cola. He’s been missing in the Siglap area since yesterday, April 28th about 7pm. We love and miss him so very much, and hope whoever has information to contact me or the SPCA. Praying and hoping he comes home.