It is before I sleep that I miss you the most. An image that I’ve made familiar is of us lying in bed at the end of the day, talking if we like, or silently enjoying the presence.

Tonight I’d talk. Achingly, but freely. Of beautiful experiences with sour, personal effects. My thoughts and what I’d ponder on, and ponder with you as I share. Of the stupid little pricks of my more shallow side, and of how much importance I hold with; and from that, how it affects my judgment of myself.
My fear of the almost silence between God and myself, and jealousy to those blessed with an answered ear.

I long for something I am told that I shouldn’t-admiration. Painful to admit because it sounds shallow, even selfish. I beat myself up about it because I can’t figure what’s right. Whether it pushes me to be a better person, or pulls me down when I don’t recieve. Do I want to make people happy by what I do, or am I so insecure that I need a clear view of being wanted? Self-absorbed or inspirational? I’m getting these mad mixed up questions from a bloody tv show. Mad.

At night I am tired, vulnerable, and honest.

The person behind my lovely weekend. I look like a pufferfish in the fourth photo because he hugs really tightly! I love it, I should show that and smile next time. (stupid)

Watching videos to inspire and discuss
talking everything
lots of BOOKS we borrowed bought and read
Friends
my first Fast and Furious movie (6)
lots and lots of hugs and kisses and jumping around and holding hands

My better half. A beautifully matured love with the easy happiness of a child. I can’t wait to have one (as we say every day) with you. I love you. ;)

GREY’S FREAKING ANATOMY

I dous me in fiction and it reeks of petrol, overpowering my breathing with sparks everywhere. Where is the one that pulls me out of these stories more interesting than mine!!!!!!!!!! STUPID ARMY STOLE MY BOYFRIEND

helpless hope in strangers

ever since my dog ran out the gate and the house void of his sounds, I walk around with a black cloud over my head. I haven’t been completely happy and he is obsessively in my mind. So much so that the first night he was absent all my dreams were about and with him being lost and found again, I kept waking up and first thing was hoping he’s home. He still isn’t.
The flyers are up, posts have been shared and it terrifies me that his fate lies in someone else’s hands. He has most likely been taken in, and I can only pray (again, obsessively) that they see the poster, or make an effort to return him back to us. I pray and desperately hope they haven’t taken him away from this house forever. 

‘Kola! Kola? Kola! Kola.’

My mom always told people she ‘hated the dumb dog’ and playfully complained about him every day. Now that he’s missing, she’s calling his name sadly through our living room asking him to come back and why has he gone. Like a child. Every time I hear her loud voice ring through the silent floor a thud from my chest falls to my stomach, my mind sees his face and my eyes fill and overflow.

I lost my dog, cola. He’s been missing in the Siglap area since yesterday, April 28th about 7pm. We love and miss him so very much, and hope whoever has information to contact me or the SPCA. Praying and hoping he comes home. 

The familiar song in your voice rang clear through the mist of my day, I had breezed through in hushed rebellion to the things I had to do. I longed for more than just your audio touch, I dreamt back to the dreamy days of us together in abandon of time; I dreamed of when your declarations were not through the wire. I reminisced the tips of your fingers dancing upon my cheek, and mine tracing the creases of your grin.
I heard a wistful song through the radio and felt the lack of you.
 

After an afternoon of fun swimming at my childhood pool place turned future dream apartment.
My beautiful boy is off to Thailand training, pray for his safe return on May 13th! I love you.